Jesus already did that.

The poor, the broken, the marginalized.  We are called to love our neighbor.  Not our righteous neighbor, not the neighbor who believes like we believe, but rather the neighbor we find on the street, broken and hurting – no questions asked.

I’ve had a chance to have several good discussions about the ordinance in Springfield providing protection to those in the LGBTQ community – this ordinance is about allowing people to work without fear of being fired based solely on their private life.  It’s about people not being kicked out of their homes arbitrarily.  It’s about the fact that we need laws to protect their basic rights to walk into a place and buy a cup of coffee without fear of being singled out and told, “We don’t serve your kind here.”

I know many are tired of hearing about it.  I know facebook and social media have been inundated with messages from both sides.  So why should I speak up?  Why do I keep sharing posts, liking posts, and talking about it?  Because I can.  Because I will not be fired from my job, or kicked out of restaurant because I love and support gay people.  But if this measure is repealed?  My friends won’t be safe.  For the LGBTQ community to stand up and ask people to vote NO to Repeal takes a lot of courage.  Because if it is repealed – they could go into work the next day and be fired.  They could be asked to move.  So I speak, because I have rights that I take for granted and sadly we need laws to insure that my friends have those same rights.  I speak because I love Jesus and I love the LGBTQ community and I want them to know both of those things.

I wish we didn’t need this ordinance.  We are a Christian majority after all, here in America.  Loving our neighbor, being a good samaritan, protecting those who are without majority or power – that’s our calling.  I don’t recall in the story of the good samaritan any interview for the victim to find out if he was worthy of love and care.  I don’t recall a checklist – if he were beaten on the side of the road there is a chance that he had done something bad – but no questions were asked.  This is the story that Jesus used to articulate what it means to love your neighbor.  And the hero was a Samaritan!  Did you know Samaritan’s were the most reviled of all people groups by the ‘holy’.  Jesus takes the least likely person of his day and puts him in the story of the Good Samaritan that we talk about 2000 years later – not only that, but he casts him as the hero!  Perhaps today the parable  to describe who our neighbor is would be a transgender victim being helped by a divorced and remarried gay man.  Does that repurposed analogy offend?  That’s good, because the story of a reviled Samaritan as the hero was certainly offensive when Jesus told it so long ago.  Perhaps we should show the mercy that Jesus desired. 

One aspect of the bill garnering a lot of attention is that a transgender person who is living as their identified gender would be allowed to use the restroom that they identify with.   The concern of many is that this makes our public restrooms unsafe.  The fear is that men could just dress up as a woman and go in a bathroom to accost children and women.  I understand that this is a horrific scenario to  imagine, but it is illegal today and it is illegal if the ordinance stands.  There is nothing stopping a pedophile from dressing as a woman and accessing restrooms.  I don’t let my children go to the restroom unaccompanied….ever.    I don’t today and I won’t tomorrow.

It is true that bathrooms can be very dangerous.  They will always be dangerous for children – this is why kids do not go into public restrooms alone.  Allowing a healthy transgender person into a bathroom does not change the risk – it doesn’t lower it, and it doesn’t raise it.  The fact of the matter is you will most likely never know when a transgender person is even in the restroom.  They simply want a private and safe place to go to the bathroom.  Bathrooms are not safe places for children, but in my reality bathrooms are fairly safe for adults.  That is not the case though for a boy or girl, man or woman, who was born with the wrong body.   

(On a side note – if your exposure to transgender people is isolated to the booking room scenes on Law and Order – I would encourage you to research real people’s stories.  Hollywood does a disservice on how it portrays Christians, they make us all look small minded, anti-science, and kind of mean.  Not surprisingly – they also do a disservice in portraying the transgender community and the rest of the LGBTQ community. A transgender person is someone who from a very, very young age – feels that something is wrong.  It is not about sexuality – many start saying they are the opposite gender long before any sexual development occurs – it’s just a genetic anomaly.  Rare, but scary and challenging.)

Back to restroom safety – I can confidently walk into a restroom and not fear for my safety.  Alternatively though, imagine a young woman (for clarity a man who is transitioning to female) being  forced to walk into a men’s bathroom – dressed as a female – she is highly likely to be accosted, injured, beaten, and abused.    In over 200 cities with ordinances allowing transgender access there are no reported abuses of the ordinance by pedophiles – but there are police reports across the country of transgender assaults.  Young children should not go to the restroom unaccompanied.  These ordinances, in my opinion, do not alter the risk to my children.  They do, however, provide a safety net for a group of people who desperately need it.   And this is just one aspect of the ordinance.

Although there are alternative interpretations of the bible on this manner, I realize that there are many people who believe the LGBTQ community is living in sin.  I’ve been surprised however, to learn that this means they feel they  should not have to work with or serve the LGBTQ community.   If you fear having to support sinners in your business, if you fear having to work with sinners, if you fear having to serve sinners, then you need to shut your doors.  Bad people get married and have cakes and photography at their wedding.  Like, really bad people.  

And if the issue is that they are ‘actively’ sinning – well, so am I.  I’m divorced.  I watch the wrong things on TV.  I get really angry at perceived injustices and I judge people – some harshly.  I have some really serious sins in my past.  But, I love Jesus. I believe he lived, died, rose, and will return. I claim His grace and mercy anew each day – can I shop, live, and work with you?    Because, I’m still a sinner after all.

I pray that everyone will vote ‘No’ to repealing this measure that protects people’s homes and jobs.   If you have questions or alternate views – I’m glad to sit down with a cup of coffee and talk about it.  And, if you are not in the LGBTQ community, we can go have coffee anywhere we want.

For the incredible men and women that I worship with each Sunday who will be impacted by this ordinance, for my friends who want nothing to do with God because of this issue, for the homeless teen, the young person considering suicide, for those who have been hurt and are hurting, I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  I love you and I am for you.


Greg and I went out for Valentine’s Day last Friday. He took care of the child care, made reservations at our favorite restaurant, and I planned the entertainment (much to his initial chagrin). I had read an article recently about a study done by psychologist, Arthur Aron. The study had identified a series of 36 questions that were said to accelerate relationships – basically, 36 questions to make you fall in love. Now, Greg and I are already in love, but I thought it might be fun to go through the questions anyway. I floated the idea out to Greg that it might be fun and to his credit he agreed to give it a whirl. (He made a lovely face that spoke volumes, but agreed to try it out.)

We got to the restaurant and ordered our food, but it was apparent that my entertainment plans were being thwarted. The restaurant had seated us in a small area that had no separation between the tables, and no music piped in to the room. So, basically, every word we would say would be heard by the other couple sitting at the table right next to us. They seemed like a lovely couple, but if these questions worked there was a risk that everyone would start falling in love with everyone else – chaos may very well ensue!

Just to make matters more awkward a third couple was soon seated on the other side of us and they very much needed the questions because they were fighting. So here we three couples sat, side by side, awkward, tense, and, in one case, arguing. Happy Valentine’s Day! To our awesome waiter’s credit he acknowledged the awkward situation and helped get us moved to a better table with a bit more privacy. Yay! We were ready for the questions.


Despite some initial misgivings (on the part of one of us), I will tell you that it was one of the best evenings we have had in quite some time. It is easy to fall into communication habits and patterns after you’ve been married for some time. Greg and I will celebrate nine years of marriage this summer. He is, undoubtedly, my very best friend. None the less – we don’t find a lot of time to sit and talk about life. With young kids, jobs, and a never-ending list of obligations, our conversation seems to resolve mostly around schedules, meal plans, and discipline strategies. And even if left to our own devices with the best intention of having deep conversation – we would have been hard pressed to come up with topics. Often I think you can start to feel like you know the other person too well, and you begin to believe there is nothing new to learn.

As we went through the questions, some took a short amount of time to answer and some took a bit longer. We found a few stirred up conversation rabbit trails that we went down and strayed far from the original question. So far we have only made it through the first 20 – and in theory you can complete the entire set in 45 minutes, so we definitely found a lot to say. I learned a few new things about Greg and rediscovered some things I had forgotten. We both were able to share some things that we thought we knew about the other, only to find out we answered differently than expected.

At the end of the evening we both agreed that it had been a really great exercise. It was illuminating not only because of the answers, but because it shined a light on an area of our relationship that we had lost without even noticing. We had a very quick courtship and part of those intense eleven weeks between meeting and marrying (yes, I said eleven weeks) was a lot of talking. A lot! Emails, phone calls, face to face conversations – we covered years worth of ground in just a few weeks time. I had forgotten how refreshing his perspective is on things and how much we enjoyed one another’s company even when we had no shared agenda.

So much of married family life is an intricate dance in the minutiae of life. In that daily dance you find yourself staring at your feet, your partners feet, and the feet of the littles you have created to insure that everyone is doing their part and hitting their marks. This Valentine’s Day was a chance to lift our heads up and see the grand ballroom and here the music and remember that this dance is more than the steps. This dance is our epic love story, and Greg is more than a best friend that keeps our family going – he is my funny, insightful, quirky, amazing Prince Charming.

Can these 36 questions make strangers fall in love? I don’t know. But I do know that they are a great way to remind you of the love you are already in.

Go ahead – try it!

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

End by staring into your partner’s eyes for four minutes without speaking (or laughing, Greg!).

Hi everyone! Tonight was the night we get to serve dinner at Rare Breed. They steal my heart every single time.

Rare Breed Youth Services is located off the square in downtown Springfield. It’s a two (maybe three) story brick building. It’s a pretty building and it stands alone – with a large field to one side and a parking area to the other. In a small, but crowded, urban downtown it stands out in the fact that it stands alone. Perhaps a fitting metaphor for the children that grace this space – unattached.

When you walk in, the front of the building is devoted to the services made available. The kids check in and can be helped with specific needs or questions. Just past this area is the kitchen – this is where we get to set up shop and serve dinner. They have various organizations and churches that come in every night to serve dinner. (The schedule is fairly consistent, but there are open nights still available if you are interested.) It’s a utilitarian kitchen – bright and open. The back is where the kids can come and finally relax – feel safe, unwind. There are laundry facilities along with showers and toiletries made available. There is an exercise room, craft area, and computer room. I’m still learning all the various services that are provided but I can tell you that it is not enough. The staff is unstoppable but it takes a wide variety of people willing to make this their passion to really branch out and offer these kids a fighting chance.


“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” Nelson Mandela


I sit here and I stare a the keyboard and I try to figure out what the magic combination of words are to convey all the feelings that Rare Breed raises up in me. I am tempted to walk away if I’m honest. To just walk away and forget all about it because I’m so overwhelmed and humiliated by the amount of need and my inadequate response. I want to fix it all and just like I wrote last time – I can not do enough. I will never be able to do enough. And while admitting that it is fine, to not do enough in the confines of a nice safe blog post, confronting my lack in the face of a young person whose story starts with, “I was beat up yesterday and stabbed today,” is a far different reality. (Actual comment overheard.)

These kids are not polished, well spoken, clean cut kids that are down on their luck. Some of them are pretty rough. Some of them have substance issues. You can just tell. Too many of them have babies of their own. I can’t tell you what they do with their days or if they make good choices. As a matter of fact, I can guess that by our standards their choices are probably not the best. They use rough language and I’m sure many can be unkind. I can’t say that all the resources in the world would turn things around for each one. But it will help some of them. It will make a difference for some.

Despite their circumstances, they are so appreciative of the meals. They make a point to say thank you and they are sincere. I see an earnest face that says thank you and I just want to sink through the floor because one night a month is not enough. I’ve done nothing. I wish I could just ask them all to pray for me. For all of us. In the land of plenty, we are failing these kids.

They are just kids – brains not yet formed to the point to understand the long term implications of their actions. Kids, ill equipped to survive in a world that is a kill or be killed existense. Kids with no one to tenderly hug them and tell them they are loved and valued. And I wonder about their parents – what pain they too may be going through. I wonder if it their situations stem from poverty, lack of education, mental health issues never properly diagnosed and treated, or just bad luck. Perhaps their parents kicked them out – a decision made from a position of pain. Do they know where their babies are right now? Do they care?

“Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.” Wess Staffod, Compassion International

I was able to speak with Justin tonight. He is the current program director at Rare Breed. I told him that we have a group of 15 people that are willing to help. He was really excited and thought of several ways that a monthly income of funds could help. We talked about the best way to get the funds to the kids in ways that would help. He mentioned a few different things – one is monthly bus passes for the ones that use public transportation for school and jobs. So that will be one thing we will be helping to fund. I told him that we would trust him to use the funds as he sees fit since the needs can changes unexpectedly.

Justin and the people that volunteer day in and day out at Rare Breed – they will be the collateral beneficiaries of your generosity. It may be difficult to find the funds to dedicate every month – but it is nothing compared to what these folks do. I think that many times they must feel hopeless and a bit abandoned. How must it feel to live in the most religious country in the world and yet have to serve homeless and hurting children. Our gifts will allow them to fill real needs, but it will also send a message that their efforts are seen and appreciated.

I also spoke with my church and we are going to establish an online giving option specifically for Rare Breed. I’ll be posting the link on Monday. This will allow anyone from anywhere in the country to go in and make a monthly contribution to Rare Breed. I am the treasurer right now for the church so I can personally assure that the funds earmarked for Rare Breed will be delivered each month. In addition, this will allow us to provide tracking of your giving and an end of year statement. Streamlining the giving through The Commons will also alleviate some of the administrative burden at Rare Breed.

For those local – I’ll be posting here about opportunities to volunteer or specific needs that they have throughout the year. As always, the first Thursday of the month we will be serving dinner and I would love to see some of you join us. If you have a group that would like to pick up another night I can get you in contact with the right people. We have an amazing lady from The Common’s that wrangles all of us each month to put together a nice meal for the kids – she is amazing!

“God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.” Bono

Part of me wants to be careful here and not push to far – but I’m going to ignore that part of me.
Please give. Please find $10 or $20 a month (or more!) that you would be willing to give to Rare Breed. Please share this post and ask your friends to give. We will add them to the facebook group and they will get the link on Monday. You’ll be able to schedule a recurring amount each month to make it easier. We have people that are local and we have people that are out of town – and I’m so thankful. As many of you know, this idea came about when we worked the Christmas party in December and saw hundreds of kids standing in line for several hours in the cold waiting to come in. It was the only Christmas many of them had.

I can vouch for this place. I can tell you that I’ve stood in the building, I’ve looked the kids in the eye, and they need us. More importantly – we need them. We need to be a part of this.

I don’t usually do this – but please share this post! Please get the word out. My original hope was to have 100 people signed up and I still believe there are another 85 people out there that just need to hear about these kids.

If you want to be a part of this please comment on facebook or send me a message. I can add you to the Rare Breed group we have set up. That will provide links to the online giving site (starting Monday) – and also updates on what current needs are or volunteer opportunities.


Here’s something that I’m learning lately that I really wish I had known much earlier in life: You do what you can, and that’s enough.

I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of person. I either wanted to do something 100 percent or not do it at all. And when your young and single that kind of seems like a feasible way to approach life. But as you grow older and you gain people who depend on you, not just a spouse or children but jobs and friends too, you begin to realize that it really is not possible to give 100% all the time in every situation. So then you can get stuck thinking that you are failing when you fall below the 100% mark. You can start feeling inadequate. You start saying no to opportunities when you want to say yes, but you don’t because you know that you just don’t have it in you to do all you would want to do. At least, that’s how I used to do life.

And then I turned 40. Listen, I don’t want to set anyone’s hopes to high here, but 40 is a magical number. It can be a really freeing birthday. A turning point where you get to lay down so many false expectations. I know for some it’s really scary and it isn’t magical – but it should be. Really, it should. It’s a beautiful age.

My twenties were painful – lots of hard lessons – very meaningful to who I am today, but nothing I would want to repeat. My thirties were pretty good. I finally found my voice and my life started heading in a good direction. But, my forties – well, they are just fantastic. And it seems like I get to unlearn something on a weekly basis. I get to shed a bit more of that youthful arrogance that careens us into adulthood. I get to release who I’m ‘supposed’ to be and just be who I am.

I get to do what I can and know that it’s enough.

No doubt, I would still love to have enough money to solve every financial problem my friends and my family face. I would love to have enough smarts to have the answer to every problem. I would love to have enough time to serve every person in need. I’d love to fix all the things that are broken.

Instead – I give when I can. We support a little girl in India and another in Haiti. We help support our church family. When we have extra we give some of it away. When I see a problem where I can help, I offer what I can, even if it doesn’t fix it. I share my piece. I spend my time in service when I can and I recognize that sometimes service is at home, sometimes it is at work, sometimes it is with local outreaches, and sometimes it is with friends over coffee. I add my tape, and glue, and love, to the broken pieces around me and I trust that others will do the same. I do what I can to make things better, and I find things do what they can to make me better back.

Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35

I believe that to be true – I find in my faith that there is a never-ending supply of grace, mercy, peace, and rest. I love having that constant touchstone.

But I’m not Jesus.

When I give someone bread – they will always hunger again. When I offer water, it only satisfies for a moment. When I love, it will never be enough to be done. I will never be done. It is in that mystery where I find comfort and faith. I believe in a God who is always enough and I can turn to that well whenever I need to because it is never dry – but I am not expected to be that for anyone else. I’m never told, or led to believe, that I can satisfy someone’s needs completely. I’m asked to love, again, and again, and again. Because I can never do enough to be done.

I can never do enough. I will never be done.

So depressing at twenty and thirty. So incredibly liberating at 40.

I do what I can and THAT is enough – of me. Peace comes from the effort, not the fulfillment. Tragedy is not found in falling short – tragedy is found in never trying. An offering can be used – even when it is not enough.

So let’s just let go of trying to do it all and just do our piece of enough.

Because a whole lot of us doing not enough, will end up being enough sometimes.


Two weeks in a row for the blog!
(Drops the mic(keyboard) and walks away)
(Comes back to make sure the keyboard is ok.)
(Enjoys her unseen dramatics and begins using said keyboard again.)

Ok, so this may be a little too early to declare victory over my new years resolutions – but I have definitely hit the ground running this year and it feels fantastic!

Over the last couple of years I’ve ‘kind of’ picked a word for my new year. I’ve seen other’s do it and I like the idea – kind of an overarching guide for what you want the coming year to represent or achieve. I’ve never really resonated strongly with my word in the past. This year is different. This year my word picked me. The moment my mind thought to start to wonder around what my word should be I began shouting at myself, “SIMPLICITY’. And there was no arguing with myself.

My word for 2015 is Simplicity.
the quality or condition of being easy to understand or do.
the quality or condition of being plain or natural.
a thing that is plain, natural, or easy to understand.

Just reading the definition brings me peace.

I think, looking back – well, I can’t recall what my actual word was for 2014 – but in hindsight I would say: Complexity. So it makes sense that my life is calling out for balance. I need it. In 2014 my health was complex, my work was complex, my life was complex.

But what, exactly, does Simplicity mean beyond the zen quality of it’s dictionary definition? I’m sure it varies from person to person, but for me I am going to focus on simplifying in a few key areas.

My home: I will own my things – my things will not own me.

Since my father’s passing two years ago I have basically not been in my basement. We moved so much stuff in during a very rushed process of clearing out his home and I’ve just been unable to work through all the things. At the same time, I feel all of it. I feel the boxes that need to be reviewed. I feel the disorganization. Without ever even going to see it – I feel it, every day. And over that same time period, I realize now, that I stopped dealing with a lot of things around the house. Clutter, not chaos but clutter, began accumulating. We are no where near a hoarder’s episode, but again, for me, it is a weight. A burden that I can feel even if I can’t always name it.

So I pledge to simplify home by laying my little mittens on every single thing we posess in 2015 and make a decision – do we love it? do we use it? From there we will decide to keep, donate/sell, trash. So far I have done this with both kids rooms, both entry way closets, and our master closet. We thrown away over four industrial size bags full of junk and we have at least two full bins to be donated or sold. It feels wonderful and it’s just beginning!

My work: I will establish systems to increase my productivity and make good use of my time by simplifying!

This, for me, means no more paper. I have a great task management app that I used for a while and then let go by the wayside. I ended the year clearing out my inbox and re-organizing my task management software to be ready for the new year. I’m also keeping an eye out for things that I do that really are not my strengths or not part of my responsibilities. I think this will help immensely as I begin to simplify.

My health: I prayerfully request that my health is much more simple in 2015.

For what I can control – I will eat healthy whole foods. As a major kick start I am doing a Whole 30 – 30 days of whole foods. This also excludes all dairy, legumes, grains, and sugars (except for fruit). Already, just 3 days in, the nausea that I have been dealing with for over a month is gone. Completely. I am finally beginning to realize that my body is changing and just because I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, I can no longer do so. I am going to make peace with that and I’m going to eat simple meals made of real food. I will also exercise on a regular basis – it’s not a negotiatiable endeavor for me, I must maintain my health!

My family: Well, somebody’s got to go…four is just too many! JUST KIDDING!

When I think of simplicity for me, Greg, and the kids I just see us spending time together at home. More time playing games, building things, making things. Time just building on our relationships. We will do one extracurricular activity with each little in the spring and I know that will be busy, but also fun.
For family outside our home – I would like to have more spontaneous dinners and fun evenings just enjoying one another. I want to spend time with our parents.

My marriage: Simplify my marriage… you know I just need to chill.

I told Greg the other day that I feel like I’ve kind of adopted some persona of a beleaguered wife. It’s almost like I forget to be truly present and instead I start from a place of being annoyed or anxious or frustrated – regardless of whether I actually feel any of those things. The reality is that I need to get back to the fun and silly person that I was when we married. Before we had children, before the children got old enough to fight. Life really is not as complicated as we make it and our attitudes are the results of choices we make. I’ve let the complexity of 2014 turn me into a bit of a shrew. So, public admission and apology here babe – it’s on the interwebs forever – 2015 will find me much more chill.

So that’s all I have for now. 2015 – The Year of Simplicity.

Oh! And writing in my blog every week – because this is how I simplify all the thoughts that run rampant in my head!

Do you have a word for 2015? Resolutions? Tips for simplifying things? I’d love to hear what you are planning for 2015!


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