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I’m learning how to be comfortable writing about my faith. I’m learning. It isn’t easy. There are two big fears that I have: What is revealed to me will be obvious to everyone else and I will be thought of as an immature and simple minded christian, OR, I will be completely wrong and either influence people to believe something that is not true or later look back at what I’ve written and be embarrased. So, really there is only one thing to be worried about – that I’ll influence someone to believe something that isn’t true. The rest is pride and it just has no place in writing. You can’t be both prideful and honest. The influencing though – I can only say that I don’t write these things lightly. I do research scripture and I pray before I write. So with that said I am going to start a multi part series on the Holy Spirit. God is really working on me about the Holy Spirit.

I wrote previously about not holding the Spirit in the same regard as Jesus and God and how God had started nudging me down the path of understanding. Since then I’ve been bombarded by scripture, podcasts, songs, and seemingly random conversations all centering on the Spirit of God. It’s been a little freaky.

So I want to start at the beginning of my spiritual journey – back when I was just a little kid, going to church to play, and learning who Jesus was. My learning started out with the very simple concept of asking Jesus to live in my heart. You learn that Jesus died for you, He loves you, and if you ask Him, He will come to live in your heart. Somehow (hello Spirit) this makes sense to kids and they are open to it. I was and I did and He did. Then you are introduced to God who is everywhere and sees everything. In my upbringing this was usually presented as a kind of threat to keep you in line because God can “see everything you do”. Then there was the Holy Spirit. Honestly I don’t remember a lot of talk about the Holy Spirit except that it will help guide you and make good decisions.

So I’ve always kind of thought of Jesus living in my ‘heart’ – not the physical heart – but the nice little place inside of me that loves my family and puppies and ice cream. Jesus hangs out there with all my good thoughts and warm feelings.

I have God in heaven, Jesus in my heart, and the Holy Spirit helping me to do good things. Oh, and by the way, God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are one and the same – which was a concept I just said ‘ok’ to and went on because that is beyond my comprehensive abilities.

The problem with this idea, for me, is that Jesus and the Spirit were really just in the good things I did. The weren’t really around if I did something bad – because I was ignoring the Spirit and Jesus was tucked away with all my good deeds in my heart. I really only had God to deal with who could see everything and I would repent just as soon as I was done and get back on good standing. Not great theology – but I didn’t put a lot of thought into it either.

And even as I matured in my faith and took steps to really deepen my relationship with the Three of Them – it was really just about the Two of Them. A deep affection and appreciation for Jesus and salvation, coupled with a healthy fear of God. And somewhere in the background lurks the Spirit reminding me to complete my bible reading and not be an angry driver.

God decided to really work me over the past few weeks and reveal what the Spirit is all about – and it has really made my head hurt and my heart sing.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to try and explain to myself all of these thoughts swirling about in my head and I invite you along.

Next we will talk about our bodies as a temple and how God finally helped me figure out why all those details were included in the Old Testament – well, at least one reason.

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