Oh, I want to be her! I think that a lot in life. There are so many incredible people in this world. So many amazing and talented women. So many incredible photographers. So many creative and loving mothers. So many powerful wise business women. So many kind and loving christian women. I want to be them!

I want to plan birthdays for my kids that go down in history and then I want to write a witty blog post about it and post amazing photographs. I want to put together a project at work and deliver presentations that end in standing ovations. I want to write a book that goes on the bestseller list and just stays there. I want to change millions of peoples lives for the better. I want to be a lawyer and a psychologist. I want to do improv and stand up comedy and act in a play on broadway. I want to discover a cure for something – anything. I want to compete in something and win – you know – some Olympic something.

Every day I can find someone else doing something I really wish I could do. Building, creating, inspiring – these are things my heart longs for every day. I can think myself into a tizzy at how far I am from my aspirations. I see these well known, confident, amazing women – or lesser known but equally amazing local women – and I envy their style, grace, and ability. I start questioning everything – my parenting style, my wifey-ness, my friend-ness, my business skills, the sequence of my shower routine – I’m telling you, everything.

I’ve learned though, sometimes we look through the window with so much longing but what we should be doing is taking a look in the mirror. Sometimes we recognize qualities in other people because they are qualities we already possess. Yes! Whenever you see something in someone that you wish you had – I will bet that in some way you already do. We crave to be more of who we are meant to be – it is a human condition. The important part of that though, is more of who we are meant to be. I’ve got news for you – you are, right now, exactly who you are meant to be. It is actually impossible for you to be someone else. Go ahead, I’ll wait while you try.

See? Not possible.

Let’s take a look at this list of things that – even as I was writing it – my soul sighed and said, “Oh yes, I would love to be able to do, be, accomplish that.”

Birthdays: My kids think their birthdays are epic and they will remember them with joy their entire life. They don’t know, nor do they care, who baked the cake, or whether the decorations are perfect. They care that I remember them, that I take the day to celebrate them. They care that I care – and I care! My husband actually considers me the Martha Stewart of party planning. I happen to know he has a very very low bar that I’m stepping over – but, hey – his opinion is the most important opinion to me!

Write a book: I am a writer – a learning and growing writer who has no concept of grammar or punctuation (sorry Mr. T – you tried). I’m not going to be on any best-seller lists tomorrow – but who knows what the future brings. You become a writer by writing and I am writing.

Change lives: I may never change a million lives – but I do try very hard to change the lives of those in my circle of influence. I try to be a loving friend, mom, daughter, co-worker. I may not be saving lives – but if someones day is better because I was a part of it? Fantastic.

Lawyer/Psychologist: I will probably not be a lawyer or a psychologist – but if someone has a problem I get called on often to help them make their case. If a friend is struggling I always have an ear for them and time to listen to their concerns. I may not get paid to do these things for strangers – but I get a much bigger payback by doing these things for my friends. Bonus – no student loans!

Comedy/Acting: Ok, I am not giving up on the idea of improv. The Skinny Improv needs a *ahem* mature woman on the cast, but even if I never join them, I can make my husband laugh. I get to act out crazy things with my kids on a daily basis. Award winning? No, but only because they can’t use scissors yet (hard to craft an award without scissors – ask the Oscar people).

Discovering a cure: Done. On a daily basis. I can cure boredom with the skills of, well, an Olympian boredom curer. Two birds, one skill. Anyone with children under their roof acquires the ability to cure boredom or they simply: Do. not. survive.

So there you have it – a little introspection and I suddenly understand much more clearly why I admire the women I admire. They are parts of me – parts that I use each day, parts that I want to build up, parts that are intrinsically who I am meant to be.

The next time you find yourself going down a road of envy and longing – stop. Identify exactly what it is you admire and find that in yourself. It’s there.

(Note – if your longings center around Jimmy Choo then this may not work, well – wait, you wear shoes don’t you?)

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Side Note: Happy Birthday tomorrow to my precious boy!

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