I’m getting ready to begin writing again on a regular basis.  This isn’t that.  This is just something I have to do to not fall completely apart all alone in a hotel room far from my family.

I left the office today and drove to my hotel.  As I do every afternoon, I called my husband, but he was in the midst of a project, so I called my mom to catch up on her week.  We chatted all the way to my hotel, up the elevator and then into my room.  I had left the TV on because it’s nice to come in the room to some noise.  I wasn’t really paying any attention, just chatting with my mom about Christmas but then I caught a glimpse of the TV screen.

Red flashing lights, a swarm of police cars, a ticker at the bottom listing the suspected fatalities.  

I collapsed into the closest chair, interrupted my mom mid-sentence practically yelling, “Has there been another shooting?!?!  Mom, has there been another?!?  I can not take any more of this…”

Her voice caught and with a tender voice she said “Yes, I didn’t realize you hadn’t heard.  There are 14 dead….it was at a facility for disabled..”  I stopped her, “I can’t talk about this mom.  I can’t handle this.  I can’t take anymore.”

And I turned off the TV and resumed our discussion.  I went to dinner with a good friend from work, and we didn’t talk of it.  We didn’t have the radio on, I didn’t look at my phone.  That isn’t at all like me.  I’m one to get all the information.  I don’t have to watch it all for hours on end, but I need to get all the facts and know what is known.

So now, in the background, I’ve turned into the news.  It is playing in the background as I write.  I am picking up bits and pieces. 

I can’t take anymore.

I logged in to facebook to see the standard barrage of gun right activist friends vs. gun control activist friends.

Can we all just stop. Stop fighting.  

Let us consider what a loving response might be and do that.

Let us pray for the families and consider what actions we might take to make the world a better and safer place for our little ones.

We should stop being full of fear – of one another, or the other.   For those of us who follow Christ – we are not to live with a spirit of fear.  Fear not.

Fear not.  Love your God and love one another as yourself.  Turn the other cheek.  Seek peace.  Be wise and loving.

Julie, fear not.  Julie, love your God and love your neighbor as you love yourself.  Julie, remember whose daughter you are and turn the other cheek.  Julie, seek peace.  Julie, remember to be wise and loving.  You don’t have to choose just one, you have to choose both.

Fear Not.  Love.  Peace.  Wisdom.  Love.

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