This has been such a rough day - I have been working on a piece about the Holy Spirit but in all truthiness I just want to imbibe a spirit. Life is rife with ways to make us stumble. My dad likes to say, "Plan your plans, but don't plan your outcomes." And so it has been with my plans as of late. Here I am, at a restaurant, drinking coffee, and I am just worked up. My stress levels are sky high. Our little family dog is very very ill - as a matter of fact my hope for recovery is right at that mustard seed size. I know a miracle can happen, but I'm not so confidant that we are going to be blessed with one. The other contributing factor is my two adorable children. They have entered into a phase that can only be called insane. Seriously - you know your home is a high stress environment when you read an article by a pediatrician diagnosing toddler temper tantrums as psychotic and you are so so relieved! "I knew it" you think! "I knew that was psychotic behavior!" And then you read on to find the only treatment is time and maturity. Not sure if he meant my maturity or theirs. Either way - it's going to be this way for awhile. Here are the life goals of my two toddlers: Elijah's goal upon waking is to: 1. Bother Grace 2. Eat 3. Eat while bothering Grace Grace's goal upon waking is to: 1. Position herself and her things in such a way that Elijah can bother her. 2. Scream loudly and repeatedly about being bothered by Elijah. 3. Ask for something, anything over and over and over and over while crying. (Typically to be away from Elijah.) So these last two days - dealing with the possible loss of our precious little furry family member while also not being allowed a moment of silence to process it - has led to a short fuse and Greg sending me away from the house tonight to come and write to you all. (Did I mention I also 'celebrated' the anniversary of six awesome years of marriage in the midst of all this. Thankfully Grandma is coming over to watch the kids for a date night later in the week. I need to write about this awesome love story we have someday - but for now suffice it to say that he is my single small island of sanity in a sea of crazy.) Life is just crazy hard sometimes. But in the midst of all of this a few things have kept me grounded. My children are alive and healthy. Their behavior is right on the 'normal' track for a toddler - no matter how dyfunctional it appears. Anyone who is not a parent of multiple young beings may think I am the crazy one here. Perhaps my ability to parent is being questioned. Well, if you have any suggestions - I'm totally open to them, but every woman I have ever spoke to that has gone through this sibling rivalry/toddler phase of life seems to confirm that it is a hard and challenging time of life (understatement of the year). They also remind me it is a phase that will come to an end. The littles do finally develop negotiating skills that go beyond volume and repitition. They will one day have habits that involve carpools and sports and late night games and they will be to busy to bug one another every minute of every day. There will come a day when they only pick on one another when they are together and that will not be 24/7/365. As for my pup - well, that one is just hard. I have been reminded by a small still voice that somewhere there is a mother whose child could survive with an IV of fluids and the antibiotics that are trying to treat my Honey. If that isn't a dose of perspective I don't know what is. I am so thankful for pets - I think that is just one of the neatest relationships that God created which really seems to be just for our enjoyment. Being created in His likeness, and trusting that all love is from God - I know that He is in the midst of this relationship too. We will move on from this - hopefully with Honey, but perhaps not. In either case - she is a fantastic little dog and has given me a lot of joy in her short little life. And then in the background are the news articles and shows about the shootings in Colorado. Perspective. I'll keep my stress and my 'problems'. I'll keep the psychosis of illogical breakdowns and tantrums and the sick puppies. I'll keep them because all of my stressors are the result of Love and Relationship and I was made for that. I can handle this - I was MADE for this. 20120723-203840.jpg
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